woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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