Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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