I got chris browned last night
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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