I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
