He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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