mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize