he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
