I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
