you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
