New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
