I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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