yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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