She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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