One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
