my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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