You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
