I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I want to be your penis for a week.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
