matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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