great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
