Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
