Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
