id be glad to
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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