The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
