you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
