Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
