i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
