I've blown a few things in my day
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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