just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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