I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
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