Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Come share oat with me in your robe
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize