Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
