Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
i believe in u and ur pee
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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