this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
