I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Say something about gay babies.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I will be naked everywhere
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
