well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
