So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
