dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
