Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
