Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
