ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
