I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize