i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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