Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Randomize
