Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
