Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
