no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
