OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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