Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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