So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
