I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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