I can't watch pbs sober anymore
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
