Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
