It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
