I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
