And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
