:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
