I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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