i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize