oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
