Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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