Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
