They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
